A painful.. stressful ..X-mas vacation...
When I was gloomy with sorrowful thoughts....
He gave me pencil and pencil colours..
I tried my best to pour colours into my life....

When he joined me to draw , ....
That thirty minutes became a miming melody....
Oh my child !.. You are a precious stone ...

A competition between my son Hafiz and me...
To draw a scenery .....

me

me

hafiz

hafiz

A stressful X-mas vacation .....
At the end .........
A dedication to my  Velvet Rani...
Her beautiful smiling face beckoned me ..tempted me..
A pen sketch with her pencil colours...

Product of a sorrowful Sunday

ALICE MUNRO

TO GREAT RESPECT TO ALICE MUNRO- NOBEL PRIZE WINNER IN LITERATURE FOR THE YEAR 2013

Why are you deserve this kind of respect than a man?

We ,the woman world know how you suffer?

Why all men are saying “ You are a woman and this is not for you!..”

We know ,we have some .. but a lot of hurdles to jump.

Now you are in the glittering of that 13 th woman

We are proud of you ...the whole human beings....

We are under the immurement of traditions and customs of this contaminated world

You know how happy we are? ...in this type of largest prize in the world...

We know ….What are your sufferings ..and how hard that are!....

Women ...even if she live in any country....

Even though you wish to write novels....

But we know circumstances made you a short story writer..

We have small children to take care....

Why we didn't get enough time to write

In your own words “ when power goes off all data will volatile from our computer”

Alice Munro ..we , the whole world proud of you...

Alice ...you are doing all your duties , at the same time

You still hold your writing close your chest..tightly...

You are above all the other writers, you defeat the time …

You wrote everything in this type of wild leaps....

Alice ,it is a very striking question

You wrote in your own short story of that little girl 'Rose'

“Who Do You  Think You Are?” ….the teacher's proud....

You went into the deep deep part of our heart....

We are proud of you ….Rose....Rose it is you....Alice ,we know...

Teachers should go to deep feelings of children …

She foolishly said to that brilliant girl “ Who Do You  Think You Are?”

“You don't go out of this school thinking you are more brilliant than others”

You live as simply as normal woman...

Any one can see you smiling and walking through the streets of county

All Canadian women have immense happiness and they love you...

Your smile is imminence and innate and you are impressive

All are saying 'Alice in wonderland' …...

But we know ..you are not in wonderland.. but in this realistic world..

some wrote in the face book “ Alice Munro, as familiar as an apple pie”

This is a great reward from your Canadian native...

when you read that story of a girl , you filled your eyes with tears

She asked Alice “ Madam, when I sit in your class?”

Your answer is most touching and think provoking...and echoing in my mind

“ You don't come any premises of my class...But show me all your writings..”

Creativity is not fully learned from the class...

But achieve from our life situations... you lead us to think..

Destiny ,age , and love are your favourite themes...I love them most...

When we shake your story, no words or full stop or coma will drip out.....

Your question evoke thinking …. and is for all

When I lost my control , I ask myself that question....

As a teacher I'm proud of you ..Alice Munro

To open my eyes to that children ..in front of me.....

Thank you Alice Munro....

Wish you all the success......

vibrating.......

From a vibrating mind

Starts with an unlucky morning

My loving heart is so disturbed ….to help me.

So much worried..... I wish to get him close and near..

While we say bye,... he looked at me and smile.

I can't help thinking about that sorrowful and worrying days

I can't help crying so silently ..

All the earth today tantalizing me

I can't help swim into the depth of that deepest sea..

When I watch that bird enter into the nest

I hope that is very calm and comfort for you

But burning charcoal everywhere …..burning charcoal..

I know I'm losing all my diligence and falling into that distress mood.

Oh! god.. hot rays are covering me and made me stagnant

Covering all my body ,made me stumble

Oh ! My sober ..help me to come out from this smashing thoughts

I can't control my tears , dripping from my soaring heart..

You think you are alone......

No , you are not alone …...dear....

A lot of loving people are around you.....

No.., it is not a real thing , you are alone ,...all are alone...

I importune you again to be open...

But you never import your real feelings..

I implore you to implant your feelings and thoughts into me

Then only I could implicate your heart to me

Wind whispers to me , ..dear ..look at your near and dear atmosphere

How happy , the singing birds , the smiling flowers ,

fluttering trees everything around you

Keep your eyes and ears wide open to follow this happiest things

Then you will heal yourself and could hear that ditty, forgetting everything...

Where are you dear?.........

Where are you dear?...... Where are you dear?......
I'm searching for you .......I'm searching for you ...
My  sweety...How can you sleep?
While I'm in a pathetic mood... 

love- a strange definition

For my Seema..........................

Did I love you? no.. Did I hate you? no.....sure....

You filled your heart with love...the very beautiful girl....

While we ,the cream of our college , the Physics batch , that eight girls

Babbling friendship with that thirty-two boys

May be that with your over-talking nature and

Your too much and breaking horizon friendship with boys

I was too much fed with your nature ,since

I was a little introvert at that time.

I know you loved me so much ,but I enjoy my friendship with others

You continue your love even after our course

you snatches phone numbers from some where

And called me ...enquired my health problems

When you prepared for your marriage

I was giving birth to my daughter.

You called me ,wished me and pray for my good health

I couldn't call back......

When you inform me about your marriage problems and separation

I shouted you...too much .but later you convince me everything

I remember , you didn't wail

And I never see and hear you as a wailer.

While your second marriage with that great man

I was in my flowerbed with my bambino

You called me and didn't say any complaint

You were very happy and you made me happy.

When you gave birth your cute little one

You called me ...But I couldn't ….see you

I travelled that long distance to see my cognate in his sick bed

But....when you knew that , you called me...

You called me to say about your baby and your hus's peaks and tremors

Even though I read some from news papers

I know it is your pleasure to chat with me

But …. but..I didn't try to call you even once....

When you arranged that 40's get -together

My complex draw back me to join ….

I …..in this low dignity job..., even though got the top marks..

I'm not ready face them...

You guess this ,called me again without any … and consoled me

But …...But.......But......Now....

Dear... Dear.... I wish to see you …

I wish to see you.....can I.... can ..I....

How could I see you dear?.....

Could you speak to me?.....dear

I will come to you dear....

My heart broken....dear.. When I saw your babe in FB

I couldn't see you in this condition..dear...

While that crab is crawling through your breast

Why did the god bambboozle this type of baal

Why he is playing this type of backgammon

I know ..I know ...dear..You will return back with all your strength

I'am waiting for your call dear.....to hear your sweetest voice..

May the almighty help you to bate all your pain

I'am always praying for you ..dear....

NAVODAYA HOSTEL

To my dear son.....

My mind is always wandering here dear...

Catches fire

Felt a lot.....suffered a lot
Try to make mad....volenterily...
I'am not going to run away... I couldn't..
I'am here....here with....

When my memory  catch fire...
When my brain fetch fire...
Why  I 'm here?   ....why?...
When my mind fly like a wild magic horse

Let me say the following thought

Whenever the pain becomes too hard to bear, let me remember that even suffering has its gifts. I may not see it now, but I shall reap  it later on and it will wipe away every tear with sweetness and joy.

MOTHER'S DAY

A punishment for my.......   Is it a punishment?
Said to me ... not to disturb her......Am I disturbing?
Felt a  lot.....  
Teach him how to change  scattered lines to........
Beautiful  colourful ............
How to change mad things to......

Mad design from a vibrating mind

NINETEEN YEARS

NINETEEN YEARS

Mixed nineteen years gone….beautiful nineteen years gone..

Mixed with sorrows and hardships…..

We shared a lot, happiness, worries,.. everything….

We fell in to the black hole while leaping towards the end of our nineteen….

At our first night, you asked me, ”Why we marry?”

Without too much thought, I answered “to help  each other”

On that time onward, we kept this as our motto

You are so loving and caring hubby,  I love you so much….

You gave me armada of promises and allure me, but fulfilled a few

Yet I love you so much, you consider me, you admire me…

You alveate my rudeness, proudness and amiss acts

You gave me apprise to baffle my bad qualities

You decorated my brocade with long lasted silk from your heart

You forgive all my naughty, shameful deeds

And help me to identify myself and consoled me

I wish to get you at my next births. I wish to live with you dear…..

Now we are at the end of our nineteen, I remembers our hardships..

You are so loving.. and you  hold  my hands close to your chest

And gave me enough courage to  face the life…

And bedaub my life with beautiful coloures..

Thank you my hubby..thank you so much for your ambient love

To help me to dig my soul out and allay me

Thank you my dear..thank you so much for your amity

And for giving me heavenly pleasures…..

THOUGHTS

                       TODAY’S THOUGHT

Death will reach and catch you………..it is wandering here and there.

Live at every moment…………enjoy every drop of it

Leave your rudeness, misunderstandings, dissatisfaction and bicker mind

And float like water in this life river……………

You never jammed….you couldn't allergic towards life

You never hate life…., this is the key to peace and success

When you lost your cheerfulness, you reach and catch your death

You capture your failure without fighting ……

We are the only one to formulate and form   our life

It depends and moves only on how we handle it.

Those who know why we live, can only know how we live

We are the only master and manager of our life                                                                                                              

We are the director of our life.

Is this a late knowledge???????

Learn from yesterday………………….., live for today ………….

Expect from tomorrow…………… Albert Einstein said.

Let’s follow his time life relative theory.

Let’s pray to god to hold our soul.

Let’s add our morning pray…………………

Let me say myself “to be happy or to be unhappy

It is my decision………..

It is not decided and controlled by my surroundings or others”

Yesterday is gone……Tomorrow will come and hug soon

So I have only one day….that is today………….

So I’m going to  make my today a happy one……

I’m going to make it  a memorable one…..

life is beautiful..................

ജീവിതം  മനോഹരം.......

ഇരുണ്ടഗാധമാണെങ്കിലും

ജീവിതത്തിന്റെ മാധുര്യം ദുരനുഭവങ്ങളുടെ കയ്പുനീരില്‍ മുക്കിക്കൊല്ലുന്നവര്‍ പരിഗണിയ്ക്കേണ്ട വസ്തുതകള്‍

ജീവിതം അനര്‍ഘനിമിഷങ്ങളുടെ അമൂല്യ സൗഭാഗ്യമാണ്........

ഒരിയ്ക്കല്‍ ‍ഞാന്‍ ജീവിതത്തോട് ചോദിച്ചു,  "ജീവിതമേ …....എന്താണ് നീ വീണ്ടും വീണ്ടും  ദുരിതസങ്കീര്‍ണമായി മാത്രം എന്റെ മുന്നിലേയ്ക്ക് വരുന്നത് ?”

ജീവിതം ഒന്നു പുഞ്ചിരിച്ചു. എന്നിട്ട് പറഞ്ഞു  " ലളിതസുന്ദരമായ കാര്യങ്ങളൊന്നും നിങ്ങളാരും പരിഗണിയ്ക്കാറുപോലുമില്ലല്ലോ ?  അതുകൊണ്ട് ഇരുണ്ടഗാധമായി ഏറെ സങ്കീര്‍ണമായി ഞാന്‍ തുടരുന്നു. അതിലിത്തിരി പ്രകാശം പരത്തേണ്ടത് അവരവര്‍ തന്നെയാണ്.”

“ മരണത്തിന്റെ ആയുസ്സ് ഒരു നിമിഷത്തിന്റെ നൂറിലൊന്നാണോ അതോ ഒരു നിമിഷത്തിന്റെ  ആയിരത്തില്‍ ഒന്ന് ആയിരിക്കുമോ?  അതറിയാന്‍ തക്കവണ്ണം ജീവിതത്തിന്റെ ആയുസ്സിന് നീളമില്ല.”-കുഞ്ഞുണ്ണിമാഷ്

“ഒരിയ്ക്കലും നമുക്ക് ലഭിക്കാത്ത ഒരു അനുഭവമുണ്ട് ..നാം മരിച്ചിരിക്കുന്നു എന്ന അനുഭവം” എച്ച്. ജി.വെല്‍സ്

“വിഷമാവസ്ഥകള്‍ കൂടാതെയുള്ള ജീവിതം ജീവിതമല്ല” സോക്രട്ടീസ്

“പ്രതിസന്ധികളില്‍ തളരാതെ മുന്നേറണം..ജീവിതം ശക്തിയാണെങ്കില്‍  ബലഹീനതയാണ് മരണം..ജീവിതത്തില്‍നിന്ന് ഒഴി‍ഞ്ഞ്മാറിക്കൊണ്ട് നിങ്ങള്‍ക്ക് സമാധാനം കണ്ടെത്താനാവില്ല”  വെര്‍ജീനിയാ വൂള്‍ഫ്

“മനുഷ്യന് ഈ ലോകത്ത് ഒരു പരദേശിയെ പോലെയോ ഒരു വഴിപോക്കനെ പോലെയോ മാത്രമേ ജീവിക്കാന്‍ കഴിയുകയുള്ളൂ”  മുഹമ്മദ് നബി

“ജീവിക്കാന്‍ വേണ്ട ധൈര്യം ആര്‍ജ്ജിക്കുക.....

ആത്മഹത്യചെയ്യാന്‍ ആര്‍ക്കും കഴിയും.......” റോബര്‍ട്ട് കോര്‍ഡി

“നിരുത്സാഹസ്യ ദീനസ്യ

ശോകപര്യാകുലാത്മന:

സര്‍വാര്‍ത്ഥ വ്യവസീദന്തി,

വ്യസനം ചാധിഗച്ഛതി”

ഉത്സാഹ ശൂന്യനായും ദീനനായും ശോകാകുലനുമായിരിക്കുന്നവരുടെ സകലകാര്യങ്ങളും തകരാറിലാകും. അവര്‍ക്ക് ക്ലേശങ്ങള്‍ അനുഭവപ്പെടുകയും ചെയ്യും.

ജീവിതമെന്നത് അമൂല്യമായ ഒരു നാണയം പോലെയാണ് . അതിന്റെ ഇരുവശങ്ങളിലായി സന്തോഷവും സങ്കടവുമുണ്ടാകും. ഒരു സമയത്ത് അവയില്‍ ഒന്ന് മാത്രമേ പ്രകടമാവൂ...പക്ഷെ അപ്പോഴൊക്കെയും ഒരു കാര്യം മറക്കാതിരിക്കുക. നാണയത്തിന്റെ  മറ്റേ വശം അതിന്റേതായ സമയത്തിനായി കാത്തിരിക്കുകയാവാം.  അത് ചിലപ്പോള്‍ സന്തോഷ‍മാകാം...മറ്റുചിലപ്പോള്‍ സങ്കടവുമാകാം...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ...

Happy birthday my hubby......

what a horrible world!

What a horrible world ! Enjoying the tears of a woman !  Are you a man or animal?????????
Respond against this types of news.....

Friendship

JAYALALITHA VISITS SUKUMARI

Friendship , You gave a true definition, Jayalalitha mam

You love your friendship........less friends...deepest friendships..

You keep your friendships in your deepest corners of your hearts

Some black and white colours have such a strong colour?

Friendship , You gave a true definition, Jayalalitha mam

You visited that veteran actress, our Sukumari in her sick bed and consoled her

You also offered your old friend , a very good treatment

Your friendship is real , true, and realistic, in this lusty world

Friendship , You gave a true definition, Jayalalitha mam

You proved to be a good, real spirit of womanhood

You gave us a lesson to be realistic in our friendships

You are a model of all true friendship....

NEST IN THE STORM

NEST IN THE STORM

Millions of questions arouse in my mind

I couldn't answer....I couldn't find solutions.....

Oh! god! ...what a burning , fuming ...thoughts....

My heart burns,... all my body burns...

Why did you do that? ..how can you do that?

Why did you turn our beautiful calm nest into....

Why did you put our nest into this type of horrible cyclone???

What are my faults? Tell me dear...can I look through your feelings?

What are your troubles? Tell me dear..open your heart.....

I couldn't ….I couldn't open the window of your heart or pry into it...

But ..You know.... I always opened my heart,......all in vein..

You didn't try to look into it.......

Now we are going to consult our problem with an expert

Is it good?.....I don't know...Is it fare?...I don't know...

Once you asked me to do that...dear..

Oh! god! Save me …..save me to stay here in this terrible storm......

What for?...did you quench your thirst?..........

No...No....I shouldn't ask you such a question?

I know ….I know... You are my treasure...My pleasure..

But when I go back to my nest,.... I'am forced to ask,,,,....

I'am thinking to go away........away...... away....

But your love is deep in me dear.....

My heart whispers,...No....No...

I found those eyes filling tears.......

I console myself....I could...I could see your feelings

I hug and kiss you at night with sweet love..

shedding , expressing all feelings....

How can I suffer? Oh! God! …...I console myself...

I'am frightened by the terrible nightmare

I shouted and roared at night...You forced my eyes open..

All are the aftermath of my shivering ,broken heart.....

I can't escape...I can't... I can't escape from the dark invisible rays..

In that nightmare , I could see my all my windows and doors wide open

Wet everywhere........everywhere in my nest....

I could see drops dripping down from the roofs

Leaky...leaky......roofs ..everywhere...helter-skelter our nest

I reprove myself......but you close my lips with your ring finger

I lost the sceptre of my nest......

I intrigue to be prudent, ...but I couldn't,.......

Oh! God! I implore your mercy.....Pardon me......

How can I hallowed my heart? My dear......

As you hamper me from my eternal journey...

Why did you try to extricate me ...leave me....to go...

Can you assess the power of your blow..you decoy me...you debouch me..

I shouted ….. roared...... then you wake up me..

When I opened my eyes, I could see repentance in your eyes

Keep your dreams ...keep your dreams with you..

Hold it very close to your chest ….my dear...

When I saw your changing cloudy face..

Why are you staying away from me?........

Again... again... I ask you.....What are my faults?

I love you deeply ..very deeply... Is it the driving force to do that, dear?

Now I am staying away ...away from him....

Do you know,... how I love him? ..how I miss him...

My heart broken....do you feel it? ...can you.....

I reject everything.....only for you...only for you, dear.....

I miss everything from him......do you value my strong feelings?

How can I suffer?......I felt ,I'm sailing alone

Again ...my dear... I wish for my eternal serene silence

You can't stop me doing that ….my dear...

A GIFT FROM ONE OF MY CHILDREN

Sailing in the roaring sea

WHAT WILL BE THERE AT THE END OF THE DEEPEST SEA

The shallow pool shook me in this vast tsunami

This swallow everything includes me and my heart

When I think in a normal way , I couldn't suffer

I couldn't suffer in this cheating world

Cheating....cheating..... cheating everywhere...

Cheating...I know.. that word is relative to one another

I couldn't suffer everything , even though you scaffold me

I couldn't think.... I couldn't think so much...

Do you see my burning,. fuming hearts and brain???..

All are burning sights ...everywhere....

I'm sailing in a small porous boat in this roaring sea

I couldn't console myself.... and you know ,you've no voice to console me....

What am I thinking now? What am I not thinking now?

What is real friendship? What is true real friendship?

How can I give a realistic definition?

While I 'am in a pathetic, contaminated mood.

No dispute ...no enemies... I know ,I 'am the only enemy to me

I realize the truth.... I'm the only enemy to me....

I could see that clear sky, I could see that bird flying freely

Amid, I could hear that sweet song of you...

I'm watching that bunch of flowers of that mango tree

That sight fill my heart with lots of hope

But soon my mind remembers that betraying flowers in the wind

I spring back to my ambient pathetic mood.

IN BETWEEN LIFE AND DEATH

IN BETWEEN LIFE AND DEATH

What is life? …...What is death?............

Who knows?... who can say a realistic definition?

I tried to console myself -When dark cloud covers the sun,...

How can we say the death of the sun?.....

No...I'm thinking so... I'm not thinking so...

How can I continue? ...how can I continue? ..my mind cries

what for?.......to be laughed at by others?..or suffer the teasing sight ?..

I can't bear dear... I can't live in this lusty world

Why do you cheat me?... how can you do that?....

I consider you as my valuable treasure, my pleasure...

All that turned into burned dark charcoal

How can I suffer?.....tell me dear?.......

I'am going to enter my eternal silence...

You can't say me not...why ?...you know.....

You are pushing me into the graveyard

What are my faults?... tell me dear....what are my faults?

I love you...I love you.....from the deep bottom of my heart

Why do you close my eyes and lead me into that trouble?

I'am going to freeze myself....or melt into the deepest sea...

Anyway I decided to go for my extream silence....

Freedom???? what is the meaning of it? I hate that word...

Is it synonyms with that dark black hole?

I deserve no freedom...you misuse it , cheat me and pushed me into the hell

Are that my faults?? …...tell me dear....

My heart fumes...burns....it is turning into dark charcoal

You allure me and extract my last drop of blood and leave me as alveate

Why do I amass a lot of expectations from you

Why do I trust... why do I trust your ambient amity......

I'am not going to beshrew you dear.....I love you..I love you..

But I'am going to use my bowieknife to cut my throat....

I'am not going to bicker with you dear....I love you..I love you..

But I'am going to bespeak my destiny..........